pleasureAttention, movement, voice, breathing… chose any one of these, or two or even all of them, in order to deepen and refine your amorous experiences. This article teaches you how to do just that.

Knowing your own body is not just a premise for psycho-physical well being and good health, but it can even be the starting point for an inner search. According to the teachings of many spiritual disciplines, before traveling on celestial levels of ecstatic experiences, we need firstly to root ourselves strongly in the physical body and release the blocked energies.


Otherwise on the spiritual journey, we risk getting lost in hypocrisy or in that conflict between body and mind which we all suffer from, more or less, because it is part of our collective or individual subconscious.

At first glance, pleasure is what everybody wants the most in life, what everybody is looking for. Life within a couple often becomes a place for hunting pleasure. But, while we all aim to increase our pleasure, we fail to notice that somehow, we are the ones blocking our own access to it. In fact, each one of us is used to a certain level of pleasure but, if pleasure starts to exceed that level then certain alarm systems are triggered in our psycho-physical system; thus in a more or less conscious way, we start acting in order to inhibit its increase. Here we make reference strictly to the sensorial pleasure, perceived through the body.

But, if we guide ourselves according to the teachings of the tantric spiritual traditions, using what the body experiences through senses as pleasure and using the opening of these sensorial gates, we can gain paranormal control over the body and mind. In this way, excitation by touch and extremely pleasant sensorial impulses simply blocks the mind, due to the intense sensations received from the hypersensitive receptors at the level of the sexual organs. In this way, the agitation of the mind is surpassed and the being gradually melts in the sublime kingdom of super-mental consciousness, merging ecstatically with God, together with your beloved. In this way, the two lovers remake the divine archetypal couple Shiva – Shakti, consciousness – nature.

Often we think that, in order to increase the level of pleasure in our life – especially in our sexual life – we must have a suitable partner, we must be in a comfortable situation, there must be a certain atmosphere, we need to know a certain technique, we need the right day, etc. In short, too often there is the tendency to look for pleasure outside us: in our lover, in destiny, in situations, etc. Traditional tantric texts mention that if the two lovers go beyond the ordinary vision they have about themselves as man and woman, about the spatial and temporal frame in which the lovemaking takes place, they can sanctify what manifests in those moments, through transfiguration and self-transfiguration, alchemizing the experiences, the sexual energy, the intense sensorial pleasures into a true force that propels them both towards the cosmic ecstasy called Samadhi.

The more profoundly we understand our psyche, the more we realize that we can be the directors of our own pleasures and that we can control or change the factors we have at our disposal according to our objectives. This is done by expanding the consciousness using the four keys of pleasure. It is about those profound pleasures that encompass the body and the soul and go into the abyssal zones of our subconscious and then rise into the spheres of our spirit until finally fusing with the Divine.

When we use the four keys, we do not just open our body towards an increased state of wellbeing but we start enriching our entire affective and sexual life in a way that we could have not imagined before experiencing it.

The four instruments valid for bringing happiness in our being are the following: 1.attention, 2. movement and rhythm, 3. voice and sound, 4. breathing.

Usually, we spontaneously have access to one or maximum two of these keys, with which we feel at ease without much difficulty. Some feel attracted to dance, to movement; others have a profound and free breathing. Some instinctively pay more attention to the things they perceive and others are more sensitive to sounds and songs.

1. Attention

In the context that our article makes reference to, through attention we understand “consciousness regarding the body”. Too often we allow our attention to go outwards, and we remain insensitive to what goes on inside of us. We pay attention not to what we do, to what we are, to what we think, but to what the person we love does and thinks – or to what is generally expressed outside us: the others, the music we listen to, what we see on TV or in the outer environment, what we read in newspapers. At other times we are “absent”, we do not have our mind in the present: we think of work, we fantasize regarding what we want, we already think about what we will do after we finish that which in fact we do not do at all, because we are thinking of something completely different. In short, we allow ourselves to be conditioned by situations, by circumstances, and the result is that we find ourselves unsatisfied or bored and we project this on the person we love, blaming her/him, as if she/he was the cause.

In all these cases, the focus of our consciousness is far from our body, from our being, and this imposes certain limitations on our enjoyment of pleasure, because we can only perceive pleasure inside our body and even so – the so-called cerebral pleasures exist only to the extent that they produce pleasant bodily sensations, as a result of the significant images, fantasies or words.

The solution to all these problems is to perceive our own body from the inside, closing our eyes and being introspective about ourselves. Thus, we will notice if our body is tensed, rigid, where it is insensitive to perception or, on the contrary, where it is fluid or it vibrates. Then we can move on to perceive the affective state in which we are, where we have certain emotions or feelings, which our thoughts are, where they go and what is their nature.

We can write down or talk about all these observations with our beloved, if we do this exercise together. In this way, by focusing our attention on ourselves, we will become aware of our own body and later on we can enlarge our consciousness and see our body as the sacred temple of our soul. This transfiguration of the body, maintained by focusing our attention and by relating to elevated spheres of consciousness in our inner being, gradually takes us from intense pleasant but superficial sensations, to paradisiacal ancestral perceptions.

2. Movement and rhythm

Movement is an optimal key for entering the flow of energy in our own body and to notice the way in which this energy modifies and amplifies. Even if the gestures (especially in the context of lovemaking) tend to be repeated as time passes and actually become routine. In this way even the most beautiful thing in the world is deprived of that effervescent freshness that existed in the moments when everything was new, however we can still start learning again to move creatively.

An exercise that helps us rediscover the ancient pleasures of body movement is “primal dance”, which in fact contains a series of spontaneous and free movements that express states of the soul through harmonious, sudden or apparently insignificant gestures.

This entertaining and relaxing exercise, together with music that has a continuous but non-aggressive rhythm, allows us to become more aware of the different parts of the body, to release tensions from those parts we are not aware of and bring the energy into a more homogeneous flow. The most important thing is not to follow an idea or to foreshadow a movement, but to accept the impulses that come from the body under the impact of the music as much as possible.

This exercise can be done alone or together with the person we love; physical contact can be established between the respective parts of the body, but the attention must constantly stay focused on our body, it does not go to our partner but stays focused only on our own movement. At a certain point we can surrender into the movement so that our entire being enters in resonance with the primordial elements of the universe: fire, water, air, earth, so that our movement truly becomes a cosmic dance. The experiences that appear then go into the cathartic dance in which the body is free and feels pleasure leading to realms in which the bodily sensation disappears and where there is only the perception of the movement in universal vibrations rending happiness.

3. Voice and sound

Words are the result of sounds joined together, and their modulation imprints the level of energetic vibration at which they resonate. Many people make love in perfect silence while others simulate pleasures they do not feel, but which they consider to be adequate in given situations, through sounds. Both unexpressed sound as well as the sound filtered and changed by the mind inhibit genuine pleasure and close the door to more profound pleasures.

In the origins of tantra the spontaneous use of sounds, which on one hand expressed a state of the soul and on the other hand strengthened it, became as the history of tantra and yoga developed, more and more refined and ritualized. We again aim to use sounds in an archaic way, especially in order to “empty” the mind of the thousands of thoughts and concepts, and not to replace them with others. For this, we should aim to spontaneously emit sounds, without thinking about their meaning at all. We should freely express all the sounds that want to come, leaving our body to express itself freely.

This is a very entertaining and also very profound method of releasing tensions from the entire being, freeing our mind from parasite thoughts and from psycho emotional encodings at the physical level. Sounds, in there primal form, lead to releasing tensions and maintaining the consciousness at an archaic, possibly hedonic level, but the sidereal sounds take the being to the highest spheres of divine consciousness.

4. Breathing

Breathing is perhaps the most unconscious of all our functions; while the sensations, emotions and thoughts change, breathing is with us from birth to death, even if it changes during our life.

Breathing is connected to the character of a person and the “change of the breath” is an exercise that can be easy or difficult, depending on our involvement and on the physical blockages that we have. In fact, the change in the breathing gradually frees our being of light.

For this reason, observing the breath is one of the fundamental practices found in different spiritual traditions, amongst which yoga is one. Besides, focusing our attention on the breath, we should notice that emotions come and go; sometimes they can alternate fast and can pass away in order to make way for something that is beyond emotions. Most likely, we will notice lots of thoughts, memories, self-critical or skeptical ideas. The important thing, when we are bombarded by such thoughts, is not to get carried away by them, because thoughts tend to create other thoughts, which at their turn, also tend to create other thoughts and so on.

We just have to observe them, to become detached from them without judging the nature of the thoughts and then to come back to the breath. In the end we will feel not only a physical freedom but also a psycho-emotional freedom. In time, with regular practice, these breathing exercises take us to modified states of consciousness.

We have seen what the four keys of pleasure are; now we should aim to introduce them into our love life.

Attention will be focused on the sensations we feel in our body. We will especially focus our attention on the contact area between our body and our beloveds body, being careful that the perception is spontaneous – meaning it is not guided by the idea of what we should feel, how and where these sensations are produced. On the contrary, focusing on the sensations we actually perceive which are sometimes completely different from spectacular or elating, thus we will succeed to break the veil of illusions and to have access to more subtle perceptions, closer to reality. We will aim to observe what happens inside us whilst making love, without judging with our mind the nature of these sensations.

Motion and rhythm. During lovemaking, we must allow our body to move freely, uncensored, without any imposed limits. If we find it difficult, we can use some music that will inspire us and talk with our partner about our desire to move our body freely, so that we do not have to face surprising delicate moments during lovemaking. These movements will open the gate towards the third key of pleasure.

Sounds and voice follow the movement we make during lovemaking, outlining our sensations and emotions. In the beginning it might be more difficult for some of us, but during lovemaking we will realize that these “vocal emissions” (of any form and intensity, even the strangest ones) free the mind, unblock the thorax, the stomach and the belly. Therefore, it is not about moaning in pleasure, but about relaxing in order to help our emotions and feelings be freely expressed.

Together with the free movement of the body and with the sounds produced, the breath will be different than usual. We can start making love more consciously and maybe in a different way than we are used to.

If we breathe more profoundly and with a more fluid rhythm, we notice transformations in the states we experience and we feel poignantly, emotionally touched. In our amorous rituals, we must start breathing profoundly from the first kiss and during the prelude, not only when we are at the peak of excitation. While we breathe profoundly, we must strengthen the contact with our beloved through eye contact: to breathe profoundly, to open ourselves to our own feelings looking at the same time at our partner, and also feeling the special energy that is amplified between both.

When we amplify the energetic level of the four keys of pleasure and we bring more consciousness in our body and mind, we will thus be able to discover inexhaustible resources of happiness in our own being, by experiencing intense and wonderful sensations and emotions together with our beloved. Thus, we will realize that we no longer need outer stimuli in order to feel good in our body; that in fact all the beauty and the states of fulfillment come from the center of our being and radiate in full splendor on the outside. And if through the satisfaction of the senses we aspire towards fulfillment at all levels of our being: physical, psycho-mental and spiritual, through transfiguration and transcendent orientation we can experience sexual beatitude as a state of ineffable oceanic happiness.

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''You will never be able to get rid of all that is bad in you while manifesting it. But if you will always aim to be good, loving, humble and sincere - the bad will disappear from you quickly.'' - Gregorian Bivolaru
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